beat-the-aname

My brother killed himself
on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year
and I missed four days of work
and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.
My brother
he was always a fan of beauty
but what he did
was not beautiful at all.

And last week I got the news
that one of my good friends from high school
had overdosed
(again)
except this time
she’d gone too far
and now she was gone.
And I had a hard time falling asleep at night
and her mother
hugged me tight
and thanked me for coming to the service
but I did not
want to be there at all.
This is not
beautiful.

The girl down the street
would’ve turned 21 last year
and I can scarcely imagine
the wild times she would’ve
(should’ve)
had.
But she is buried six feet deep
after falling nearly 300
and she did not leave a note.
This is not
beautiful.

My freshman year of college
and my roommate was beautiful
and how I wanted to be just like her.
But she wore herself down
till she was
almost invisible
and if you blinked
you had to go and find her all over again.
So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition
but are paying her hospital bills
watching their daughter crumble.
This is not
beautiful.

So y’all can take your narcissistic
romanticizing
and glamorizing
of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide
and shove them as far up your ass
as you possibly can.
Starvation is not beautiful.
Killing yourself is not beautiful.
Sadness
is not beautiful.
This note I am writing
is not beautiful.

But you
you are beautiful
and it’s about damn time you start believing it.

(via runiqu) i just cried  (via sassyk1tten)
kushandwizdom
Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free.
Shannon L. Alder (via kushandwizdom)
imgonnamakeachange

imgonnamakeachange:

imgonnamakeachange:

imgonnamakeachange:

Alrighty, guys! After the success of the fundraiser/raffle that I did for my surgery, I’m finally able to pay it forward! The Color Me Rad 5k contacted me about wanting to sponsor a giveaway on my blog - so of course I had to say yes! They also let me choose a charity to raise money for, and I chose the Wright Way Rescue, which is the rescue that my boyfriend and I adopted our dog Fozzi from! This is going to be a pretty amazing fundraiser for a pretty amazing cause. I’m hoping to raise at least $5000, if not more! All the proceeds will go directly to the Wright Way Rescue, minus around $800-$1000 to purchase the prizes for the giveaway that the Color Me Rad 5k is not supplying. You can speak to two of my previous giveaway winners here and here, this is not fake or a scam! I always make good on my giveaways! 

Color Me Rad is a 5K that fires off in a blaze of color bombs, color cannons, color mortars, and multi-toned courses that guarantee your outlook will be brighter, your boyfriend will be more affectionate, your boss will finally remember your name, the hair on your head will grow back and the hair on your back will fall out, and your gray outlook will turn green like a spring morning.
Wright-Way Rescue is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization. Their mission is to reduce the number of homeless pets euthanized in the Midwest each year through an adoption program, community education, promotion of spaying and neutering, and a veterinary medicine program. They continue to save pets from rural animal control facilities where they are at a high risk of euthanasia, and instead offer them a second chance at a loving home in the Chicagoland area. Wright-Way places more dogs in adoptive homes than any other no-kill rescue in the State of Illinois on just 10% of the budget. Wright Way Rescue also suffered a tragedy last October when a school bus crashed into their facilities and destroyed their adoption center. You can read more about the incident here. They have been at a temporary facility ever since and need help rebuilding!
HERE ARE THE OFFICIAL RULES:
  • Must be following me, the Color Me Rad official tumblr, and my yoga blog
  • If you have instagram, follow me at natashaxjade (reblog with your insta username if you do)
  • ONE REBLOG ONLY.  Like do not count either. 
  • TO GET EXTRA ENTRIES, donate! Here is the donation page for the Wright Way Rescue. One dollar equals one extra entry. 
  • I will ship internationally - check the Color Me Rad website to see if there is a race near you! 
  • 6 winners will be chosen! One grand prize winner that will take everything, and 5 other winners who will get a free registration to the Color Me Rad 5k near them!
  • Winner will be chosen using random.org. 

HERE ARE THE PRIZES! 

  • 6 Registrations to the Color Me Rad 5k. One will go to the grand prize winner, and 5 will go to other winners picked at random!
  • Color Me Rad merch! A sweatshirt, t-shirt or tank top, shorts, headband, sunglasses, and color packets!
  • Workout clothes! I will be your personal shopper, head on over to Dick’s Sporting Goods and you tell me your size, favorite colors, favorite brand and I will buy you an outfit! Top, bottom, and sports bra. 
  • Workout equipment (not pictured): 5 lb hand weights, jump rope, yoga block, Nike spots/workout bag, Yurbud Headphones, water bottle from Victoria’s Secret, resistance bands, workout/lifting gloves. 
  • Portioned food containers for meal prep. 
  • 1 pair of Nike Free Runs in your size.
  • Fitbit Flex. 
  • $50 Victoria’s Secret gift card
  • $50 Dick’s Sporting Goods gift card
  • $50 Whole Foods gift card 
  • 4 shirts of your choice from lookhuman.com 
  • 1 Lululemon yoga mat
  • 2 boxes of Quest Bars in whatever flavor you prefer. 
  • Bootcamp plan made by yours truly. 
  • Shirt from the Wright Way Rescue
  • More to be added/freebies to be thrown in!

This ends September 30th! So you have three full months to enter and donate! Go go go! 

we’ve been stuck at $270 for a while. think of the puppies and kitties and donate just $5!

http://www.gofundme.com/azmpq0

THIS ENDS IN 2 DAYS!!! Donate just $5 to help out!